Just follow the simple advice given below if you want to kill your eBay business stone dead.
Building your business can be hard work, very hard work, but do you know what is easy? Killing it stone dead is easy; all you will need to do is follow my 10 point plan to success.
- This is easy! Just lie about the product you are selling, if it doesn’t work just say it does, if it’s not in perfect condition say it is. How easy is that to start with? Incidentally your customers will hate you but hey you could even get banned from eBay so no need for the other 9 points.
- Don’t bother posting your items until you feel like, after all everyone knows the postal service is slow and patience is a virtue so don’t bother putting yourself out just let them buy from someone else.
- Don’t bother about planning the end time of your auctions, if anyone wants your item why can’t they stay up until 3 am just like you, even less work to do.
- Find some real rubbish to sell and try and squeeze every cent you can, after all it’s well know that people pay top prices for garbage on eBay.
- Any old listing will do make sure that you never spend more than 5 minutes on it. Don’t forget the gaudy colours and the “cool” fonts and ALWAYS USE CAPITALS. If you really want to impress, find some poor animations and some low quality audio. Make sure that people remember your listing.
- Never reply to e-mails, I mean its all in the listing isn’t it. Surely people can just read it.
- Don’t add a photo, too much work, if they want it they will buy it anyway. If you do add a photo make sure it is blurred and the lighting is poor (you may have to wait for exactly the right conditions for this).
- Write a short description like this. Saves loads of time.
- Never give a discount, the cheek of it! What’s the problem with paying for two lots of postage, discount for multiple purchases if they want that they can go elsewhere. They will.
- Don’t list your items for sale, just as easy as the first. You can them blame everyone else because the item did not sell first time.
Congratulations if you have followed the plan you have now destroyed your business. If for some strange reason you want to succeed in your eBaying then completely ignore this advice. Rob…
Hi Rob
I laughed my a** off.
Don’t forget the one about drop shipping, keeping your customers money and then not being bothered to order the item from your supplier…cos you are in the pub spending the money!
Excellent Stuff
Cheers
Steve
Hey Steve these are advanced tactics, you should know that!
Cheers
Rob
Hi Rob, i had to read it twice to absorb it all ha ha.
You forgot about recycling the packaging:
You just need a marker pen and some scrap paper to cover the previous addresses. After all we’re ment to recycle as much as we can and if we apply the scrap paper correctly we could re-use the envelopes up to 8 times before turning it inside out and using it another 8 times.
Personaly i prefer the superstore carrier bag with duct tape wrapped all the way around the it.
Oh success can be so bitter sweet.
Keep up the good work Rob, Barry
Hi Barry, well we all have to do our bit to save the planet, a friend of mine once bought a second hand computer that arrived with a sheet of polystyrene on the top and one on the bottom duct tapped up with the address on a piece of paper tapped to the top in marker!
Cheers
Rob
This is a really good read for me, Must admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw.Thanks for posting this informative article.
Very funny Robert, 😉 but it was also a good way to give advice for eBay newbies. 8) I haven’t started on eBay yet, so I can’t add to your list like Barry and Steve. But I will return to your blog for more tips.
Keep up the good work.
John
Hi Rob, love it, although I have to admit to never offering discounts on multi postage because I only charge at cost and my items have to be packed singly, and I am selling them at the very cheapest rate out of anyone, which is why I get lots of sales!
Enjoy the journey.
Mandy
Very funny Rob! Thanks for the morning chuckle…and I’ll be sure and remember this is I ever decide to open an eBay business…and then proceed to want to kill it 😉
Kathy
Hey Rob,
You know I couldn’t`t have put it better myself, your post simply points out how to be successful in the best version of reverse psychology, I have seen to date!
By pointing the wrong way of starting and maintaining an eBay business, you make people realise the actual pitfalls waiting, forcing them accordingly to act in the correct manner to success.
Very thought6 provoking….Ed.
Hi Rob, Have you heard about the 100 blog comment challenge?
A few of us bloggers have got together for it. The aim is to write a blog post and then try and reach 100 comments for it, which in turn builds backlinks and helps improve our google ranking, as well as letting us get to know eachother a bit better.
I have created a page on my blog dedicated to the contributors Rob:
http://barry-wells.com/contributors-to-the-100-blog-comment-challenge/
If you would like to climb aboard let me know and i’ll add your details to the page.
Take care, Barry
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Hi Rob,
This is a great read on ebay. I must say admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever knew. Thanks for posting this informative article. I believe this is the kind of information that every person must put into consideration. Thanks for bringing this discussion into life.