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Archives for May 2009

Tech Support

May 29, 2009 By Robert Corrigan 5 Comments

Hi all, just thought I would share this with you, I read an earlier version of this about 6 years ago, but I got this in my e-mail today, updated and much better than the original.

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.

While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with CookingPlus and Cleanhouse2008.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run.. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten
about them.

Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge.

These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be re installed every other week.

Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can’t be turned off.

Recently I’ve been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please!

And the flip side…

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.

I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Flatulism 6.2

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

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I Made The Pub My Office

May 25, 2009 By Robert Corrigan 3 Comments

One of the many reasons for starting online business selling information or physical products is the desire to give up work and “work” from home. At home I have set myself up with a work area, with all I need to run my business just waiting for that day, glorious day when I can cast off the chains of being a wage slave and work from home.

 

However when I work from home I have noticed how unproductive that this arrangement is. Have you had the following…

 

“Can you……….”

“I’m doing…..”

 

“You can do that later”

“All you do is play with that computer all day”

 

“But I’m working on………..”

“Can’t you do that later?”

 

I think you may be able to add a few dozen alternatives or variations to the above themes. Also beware of the time thieves who know you are at home and are forever dropping by or ringing you, this never happens when I am at work. I recently dropped by John Thornhill’s blog to find that he had stopped working from home and had rented himself office space, which he had found had greatly increased his productivity.

 

I cannot yet afford a “proper office” (quick note just been interrupted typing this) but I do have office premises, two in fact. These are places I can hide away in and not be found, no phone no callers, no requests to take out the bin bag, no “quick trip to the shops while I’m doing nothing” etc.

 

Ok, I will let you in on the secret, I can be found in the snug of Dr. Duncan’s public house in Liverpool where I do most of my writing with my pen and note pad, or my local public library with my laptop.

 

It’s a lot more productive than working at home.

 

Rob

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Filed Under: Business Advice

Are You Visible?

May 16, 2009 By Robert Corrigan 2 Comments

One of the changes thrust upon us by eBay on September 24th 2008 was the introduction of the “Best Fit Policy”. This is little understood even by eBay itself.  The policy was brought in to “reward” sellers who give great service and who offer incredible value for money. It was NOT brought in, repeat NOT brought in to attract high street traders or major retailers like Amazon has managed to attract, and therefore generate more income for eBay.

 

You will notice that some listings appear very high up in the search results, despite the fact that they may have 20 or more days to go until the end of the listing. This indicates several things.

 

  • The seller has used the correct keywords to fit the category
  • They are selling a lot of products from the listing; this moves the sellers listing even higher in the search results. Relisting a successful item also helps push the listing higher in the results.
  • They are maintaining excellent customer satisfaction and do not charge excessive postage costs.

 

I sell some products in a very hot and competitive market. I always did well with this product but not as well as the top sellers in the category. I had always sold on BINS (buy it now). BINS then ended in chronological order. Some of my other products were sold with a featured listing; this meant that they eventually appeared on the top of the search results making their way onto the top page as the listing progressed. The featured listing costs approx £10 so that you need to sell a lot of products off one listing to make it economical.

 

So what happened to my listings after 24/9/08? All of the above simple ways of listings changed, now the top sellers were doing very much better than me. This was due to higher visibility of my competitors listings, my listings never got on to the first page even with featured listings. I was recently researching a market which had 8 pages of listings in the category. At the bottom of page 8 was a listing for a product that was an excellent category fit, its title was good, the photo was also good and the description excellent. No sales and only 3 views!!

 

So how do you get your listing seen? The only way to guarantee visibility is the auction format. This will ensure your item gets on the first page; you can also offer it with a BIN option (at the usual small additional cost). Don’t use any of the other “small cost” additional items such bold, coloured band, subtitle etc. This will cost!!

 

Other advice, as always look at small niche areas for less competition, you can introduce a new product into the niche using the auction format to ensure it is seen. Then follow up with a BIN when you have made some sales.

 

Rob

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Filed Under: eBay

IT’S NOT ALL JUNK

May 8, 2009 By Robert Corrigan 1 Comment

Keep your junk mail! What a strange idea, we are plagued day by day by the shear volume of rubbish that drops through our letterbox. If you have signed up in the past to receive information on business opportunities you will have these delivered on a weekly basis.

 

Dear Reader, let me tell you about my own junk mail story…… Immediately I have used one of the ploys of the copywriter by telling you a personal story about myself.

 

Get a loan for this (if you are lucky); get a loan for that (if you are even luckier). Your chance to win! An exotic holiday, a speed boat, an intercontinental ballistic missile or part ownership in the winner of the 2013 Grand National Winner. But, only if you act within the next 7 days! We cannot hold this price for much longer… Already I created a sense of urgency by giving a time limit on the competition, product or service offered. How often do you come across this offer? It is another one from the copywriter’s armoury.

 

So what is the point I am trying to make? Well one of the UK’s top copywriters Michael Silk can command a fee of £6,000 just for a sales letter, why? Because he is one of the best in the game. All of the junk mail you receive will have been mostly written by professional copywriters.

 

So what about collecting all of these sales letters and adapting the techniques for our own sales copy. So get yourself a folder and save these gems of the copywriter’s art, you will never know when you may need them.

 

Rob

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Filed Under: Business Advice

Save Time On eBay

May 3, 2009 By Robert Corrigan 1 Comment

Hi All, just a few points that came to mind when writing my e-Book, I was browsing the Masterclass forum and read the posts on time management. I though I would share some of the things that I found useful as my eBay business grew and how I have managed to save myself time.

 

As my business grew I found that it was taking me an almost inordinate amount of time just to manage my listings. So I started to use some of eBay’s free tools, this has helped me to automate a large part of my business.

 

If you are selling the same item over and over again, then the tool you need is Turbolister2. Turbolister2 allows you to import your active listings as well as your completed listings from eBay. You can delete duplicates or use the powerful design editor to change the listing and create a new variation on the existing listing. Its great advantage is that you can upload all you listings with a few mouse clicks and it will even work out your costs for you. You can download this for FREE by clicking HERE

 

Another great time saver is Selling Manager. Selling manager is a simply awesome sale management tool. Selling Manager replaces all you’re my eBay links with Selling Manager links, this takes several hours but it is all done for you so there are no worries. At first the interface will look overwhelming but you will soon get used to it. One of the great timesavers is that you can leave bulk feedback with just a few mouse clicks. This is also FREE upgrade now by clicking HERE.

 

A more advanced version with more features is called Selling Manager Pro, this is a subscription service at appox £5 per month. It has lots of additional features such as the ability to generate detailed selling reports and free listing scheduling. However unless you are dealing in very high volume Selling Manager will be good enough for most peoples needs.

 

Rob

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Filed Under: eBay

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